Uncomfortable

 Have I mentioned that I am not a fan of trust? AT ALL! I don't like putting my faith in someone elses hands to figure it out for me. It is just easier if I do it myself, hence why I usually have too much on my plate and why I volunteer for a lot of stuff. I love planning, because I get to know exactly what is going on on all fronts. I feel like my issue with this has really been challenged this year. So many things in limbo, so many processes going on where I have absolutely no control over the outcome. Right now we are in the process of selling our house and buying another one. The process of loosing a family member. The process of going through my families stuff. I feel like someone took all my life cards and threw them up in the air! It is frustrating. And believe me when I say that I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to even look for a new house, the process scares me. What is we make the wrong decision? Are we spending too much? What if our house doesn't sell? I know that asking this question gets me nowhere. And all the time, in the back of my head I hear over and over again " Have faith!" " trust the process"... but I don't want to! I want to know how it is all going to end up! I kind of have to have little talks with myself OFTEN about not freaking out and just relaxing.
 I think as adults we often forget what growing feels like. When you are a kid, you get growing pains, you become moody, your sleep is interrupted. Its not a pretty process, but you have to do it. It is good for you... just like growing spiritually and in your life, it is painful, it is uncomfortable but it is good for you. In the end when all is said and done you are glad that you did it. So for now, I will just sit tight... loosen the reigns a little and try to Relax. Good thing I got a big ol' bottle of Stressaway!