Numb

I am numb. I still can't really believe that she is gone. I keep catching myself thinking of things that I need to ask her or tell her and then realize that she won't be here to answer them anymore. It is surreal. In a way, I lost my mom a while ago. The same things happened with my dad after his first brain surgery. Cancer has a way of stripping you bare. No matter how hard you try, there are parts of you that you never get back. Cancer ravaged her body down to nothing, and yes my moms soul was still here, she was still with us but not really with us. We have prepped at least as much as we could for this for a long time. We knew it was coming, although there is no way you can prepare for the finality of it. Is it normal that we are feeling numb? That there is lack of feeling? We keep asking ourselves this question and I think it is "normal", if there even is a normal. I once had someone tell me that "normal" is just a setting on the dryer.
Thinking about how quickly our body can strip us makes me think that is it odd that God would give us such fragile weak bodies to contain such strong souls. In the blink of an eye one wrong move, one precise injury, one small cell can end it all. It seems silly really. You would think that he would want to protect his precious cargo with steel. A body of armor. However thinking further here, maybe that was the whole purpose from the beginning. This fragile , weak body as a subtle reminder that this is not our home. That we weren't made for this and our bodies failing us is just one of the transitions we make on our way to our real home. After all, his design was perfect even if we don't understand it.