Grace

I am not great about giving myself grace. I am really hard on myself. I see every mis-step as a failure and it is really, really hard for me to be less than what I expect for myself. Needless to say I am always falling short, because I expect a lot. Not the most fun way to live. I am really having to practice the art of giving myself grace in this season of my life. While at counseling yesterday my counselor told me that I am not going to be my normal self for a while. Ewww. I really don't like that. Most days I feel kind of like a dog surrounded by squirrels. Unable to concentrate on anything, easily overwhelmed; someone asking me to make a decision is hard. I can't focus and I'm not all here. I don't want to not be my regular Emily self. I want things to be normal, and yeah I know there is no such thing. But I don't like this place of being easily deterred or distracted. Grief is strange that way. It might not present itself in sadness but in the inability to be fully present. To have a really hard time with every day life. I remember my mom explaining this after my dad died, that little things like going to the grocery store were hard, or committing to an engagement because everything was overwhelming. I now know exactly what she means. I was doing some reading today on what it means to give yourself grace and came upon this....

Truly giving yourself grace isn’t about giving yourself anything. It’s about being open to His grace and fully accepting it, not just for the big hurdles, but for the tiny every day stumbles.
All the glory is His alone, and all true grace comes from Him alone.