Change is in the air

    I can feel it when God is challenging me to do something different. Can I tell you that this feeling is very uncomfortable and causes me to freak out a little bit... and by a little bit I mean A LOT. I don't like feeling like I am in a place where I have no idea what is going on, and of course my first go to is to try to fix it by 1. making a decision or 2. figuring out the future plan... of which I have no control over so it ends up being a futile effort.
There is something in my life that I have been praying about a lot the last couple of months. My ability and desire to stay home part time. This desire is so a part of me now that it is often all I can think about. It is scary having this dream because of the possibility that it might not happen and that would cause a lot of disappointment. I have no idea how this is going to happen because we just bought a house and the finances for me to do that aren't there. Unfortunately because this is where my heart is, it makes where I am right now feel discontented. I have been praying about it a lot because there is a business opportunity that could really help me get to a place where this is feasible but with that comes many obstacles... so to go all in and be scared because I have no idea what the future holds or pull back because its safe.
I pulled out my devotional today "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young, if you don't have this I would recommend it. I love it so much! This is what today's message said.

               " You are my beloved Child. I chose you before the foundation of the work to walk with me     along paths designed uniquely for you. Concentrate on keeping in step with me, instead of trying to anticipate my plans for you. If you trust that my plans are to prosper you and not to harm you, you can relax and enjoy the present moment. Your hope and your future are rooted in heaven, where eternity and ecstasy awaits you. Nothing can rob you of your inheritance of unimaginable riches and well being. Sometimes I grant you glimpses of your glorious future, to encourage you and spur you on. But your main focus should be staying close to me. I set the pace in keeping with your needs and my purposes.

Obviously he was speaking to me in this passage. Even though this brings great comfort it is still a constant struggle for me, and honestly growing pains really suck! So, for now I will just sit back and wait in him, and his timing and know that that probably won't mean my timing, and I know that is ok but definitely not easy.