Down with the sickness

     There is this band called "Disturbed", it was one of my favorites in high school. Its a heavy metal band and I was going through an alternative rock stage. I remember very clearly my dad coming into my room asking me if I was listening to devils worship. You might get the jest of the music from the band title. It wasn't pretty. Lol. This song that they did called "Down with the sickness" seems to be one that keeps resurfacing in my life. And usually in the form that has nothing to do with being sick. And honestly I can't remember any of the words except "get down with the sickness" OK so bear with me a second as I might be hard to follow. :)
    When I get involved in something in my life, it is kind of all consuming. You could say that I am "down with the sickness" whatever it is. My coffee obsession, doing my own shellac and now it is my oils. My husband constantly makes fun of my "processes". Anyone who knows me knows that with anything, I do tons of research. I want to know the best deal, I want to know all the background information. I want to know as much as I can about something before I start it. In my mind, this reduces my chance of failure. I am a perfectionist at heart. You could say that I am a chronic planner, it would give me great peace to have my whole entire year completely planned out. I drive my friends and family crazy :) If any of you are following me on Face Book you know that I post a lot about oils! I do, because I LOVE THEM and I want you to LOVE THEM TOO. It kind of upsets me when I find a good deal on something or found something that really works and other people don't want it too. I want to SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOP. TRY THIS! Seriously.
    I have always been a hippy or whatever you want to call it a heart, I have often said I wish I was a teenager in the 70's. It seems I would fit right in there. In the past and still, I struggle with the stigma of the "crunchy" label. I don't want to be shoved into a category because I really enjoy something natural. But I do, I enjoy these oils. They are changing the way that my family and I do life. I am incredibly happy that I can put something in my body and on my body daily and I do not have to worry one bit about harmful side affects, or adverse reactions. Especially when we are sick. I DID NOT, I repeat DID NOT think that they would work as well as they do. I was very skeptical and sometimes when I try new things with the oils I still wonder " is this going to work?" and it does. Not always but with so many things it helps. Sleeping, relaxation.. pain... can we talk about the pain a little bit? I was taking Ibuprofen every single day for shoulder and back pain from work, I maybe take it a couple times a month when it is really bad but my go-to now is Valor and Panaway. I use this stuff daily.
   So when you see me posting about my oils, or offering up suggestions on using them, it isn't because I want you to "buy from me!" it is because I want you to experience the benefits of these awesome products the way that I am.

I am Blessed!

    Standing in line at Starbucks buying my favorite coffee, I was struck by the overwhelming feeling of gratefulness. I started thinking about how blessed I am that I can spend $26.00 (I bought some other stuff too) with ease so that I can really enjoy my coffee every morning. That I can go into the store and buy what I want each week without worry, and no it wasn't always this way. That there is not much in this life that I "want". Of course there are things that I would like, as we all do, but in reality there is nothing that I need. I am sure that some of you would say that based on what I am going through that this is not what blessed "looks like". However, I refuse to live my life feeling sorry for my circumstances. OK, lets be realistic here... there are times that I feel sorry for myself and that's OK, but I have decided that I am not going to let that feeling control me and stear my life in a different directions. God never promised us that this life would be easy, in fact he told us that it would be hard.
1 Peter 1:6-7 "In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ."
      He also promised us that he would be there right besides us every step of the way. The promise that this is not what we were created for, that this pain and sickness that we experience is because this isn't our true home keeps me going. The promise that we will be restored and new is such an exciting one, isn't it? So, even though this is just my current destination and at times it is really dark, I will be thankful for the blessings I am given each day and the ability to see those blessings in the dark times as well.

Cancer is a gift

OK before you rip me a new one here, bear with me for a minute. I am reading this book "The hardest peace" by Kara Tippets and it is blowing my mind. How I came upon this book was very interesting. Any of you Amazon shoppers know that when you pick out a book it then recommends books based on what other people have bought. I was trying to fill up my Christmas list and saw this book and briefly scanned it and added it to my wish list. Honestly I didn't pay much attention to what it was about. Well I received it for Christmas and the book is about "expecting grace in the midst of life's hard... Kara's personal battle with terminal cancer. Wow! The timing of this was impeccable. Needless to say this book is going to be marked and tattered when I am done with it.
  So, back to my title... I read this line in the book and honestly the first thought in my mind was, and please excuse my language but "fuck that!" How can cancer possibly be a gift? She says this...
" I can say that cancer and suffering give the beautiful gift of perspective. It is the gift you never wanted, the gift wrapped in confusion and brokenness and heartbreak. It's the gift that strips all your other ideas of living from you completely. The beautiful, ugly raising to the surface of the importance of each and every moment."  What a beautiful perspective on a very hard place. I can tell you, from being here now for the second time that terminal illness does just that. It makes you really realize what is the most important thing. To cherish the little moments, the people in your life and the relationships that you have. I know that walking through this again has urged me to become incredibly close with my extended family. Would that of happened otherwise? Maybe not. She urges us to seek grace instead of anger. That "if God has called me to this hard story, his promise is one of sufficient grace. Sufficient for me, sufficient for my family."
   Reflecting on these words makes me really think that in some ways Cancer is a gift. It is not a gift I would ever choose. I wouldn't wish this path on anyone, truly. You know how sometimes you get a gift and you think "What on earth am I going to do with this?" And then somehow it works itself into your life?  A gift in the way that I see the world now. How I interact with people or choose to do my daily life. My perspective is forever changed and I do believe for the better.
This song has really been resonating with me lately.


We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise