Adulting is Hard

  These past couple of weeks, months heck even years have thrown me. They have probably been some of the hardest times I have experienced in my life. Loosing both parents, having two beautiful but very strong willed children. I am not going to lie and say it has been easy or that it is starting to get easier. Its not.
   Whats harder, than dealing with life and its plain hardness is the fact that we are surrounded by constant judgement. People feeling like they know exactly how your should live your life, what your doing right, what your doing wrong or what things need to look life for you. This right here, is really hard to step away from. To offer grace and not be hurt by it. And its funny, in a not so funny sense, we are all struggling with something and yet we all do it. We sit back from the stands and offer our judgements to the other person about how they could do better or what they are doing wrong. We all walk around feeling like we silently have to perform to look and act a certain way instead of being ourselves. 
   Sometimes we make decisions about our lives that we have the best of intentions with. We think "this is the best choice".... and hindsight is twenty twenty when we realize that it probably wasn't and that whole sucky ass adulting has to come in and suck it up and fix it. It plain sucks. The decisions we make as adults and the consequences that come with them are so much harder. When my dad was dying there were so many times where I was "too busy" to go up there, and yes I had my life my work, school, pregnancy yada yada and at that point I thought this was the best choice. That there was more time... and I look back and wish I would of taken advantage of that time more. I learned a lesson from this because I let my fear during that time control my actions. 
  We recently got a dog, two weeks ago. We thought that this would be a great fit for our family. We did a lot of research about what we wanted and how much time and energy this would take, this wasn't our first rodeo. We had three dogs at once a while back so we felt like this was the best choice for us.... and after integrating her into our home we realized that this was not going to be a good fit. That is an awful feeling folks. It really is, to step back from a decision you felt was wise and admit that it probably wasn't. That you can't give this dog everything that they need and it plain sucks. And there will be people sitting on the sidelines shaking their head and judging our actions, and I am going to have to accept the fact that some people will choose to look at us in a negative light about this instead of extending grace.