Yesterday I felt like crap. Just had one of those days where I was feeling SUPER unconfident in everything I do, and feeling really awful about my appearance. It is amazing what low self confidence does to you. I felt like I had gained 5 lbs overnight which I know is not possible. I'm actually loosing weight. I just wanted to plop down on the couch and eat all the carbs... BUT I made the commitment to go to my workout class. The last two weeks I haven't been working out consistently... a class here and there but not like I should. We had swimming lessons every night and then you know excuses. Being too afraid to try a new class. Feeling like I have no idea what I am doing lifting weights, so I just didn't go. HOLY COW... guys! Can I say something here because I feel like it is so important. How I have felt the last two weeks vs. when I was working out regularly is so insanely different and I didn't realize it until I got done with my club dance class why! I have been cranky, tired and just blah these last two weeks. Kind of slumping back into that depression state and I didn't really even think anything of it, probably because this whole working out thing is so new to me. I will be honest, although I love my club dance class, I did not want to go last night. The whole time I wasn't feeling it, stumbling over my own feet and probably looking ridiculous but I needed it. My soul needed it, my body needed it. I know that there are going to be so, so many more days where I DO NOT want to work out and will probably be wishing the whole time for it be over but its one of those things you do because its good for you and it makes you feel good. Its a conscious choice to be better, to feel better.
I know everyone has their own reason for working out and eating healthier. I am not doing it to loose weight, I mean yes that is the goal but that is not my main reason. I am doing it because I want to feel better, be a better person for myself, for my kids. Enjoy life!! I feel something changing in me. My mindset is changing. In the past I have been about perfection. Doing clean eating 100% of the time = cheat explosions, working out 100% of the time= not going at all. There was an all or nothing mindset because if I screwed up I might as well give up. Grace is carrying me right now, and having some for myself. To know that perfection, being 100% is not the goal but to be continually making changes in my life. Man, do you know how much pressure that takes off of me? How much easier it makes eating good and working out? So, so much!
When we first moved into our house I could not walk up the stairs without huffing and puffing. Now I can run up them (still a little huffing) but its a change.
I'm really excited to see where this is going to take me. Its all about the little changes that add up to a really big one.
If it was actually about perfection no one would ever get anything done. Your face would be perfectly made up and then one eyebrow hair would spring out of place. Learning to live in this day and this moment means so much. It means that if I screwed up yesterday, that is past and I have this day. Tomorrow is just imagination until it is actually here and then it is the day to live in. Everything is forgivable by Him. We are the ones causing our own distress but this day is possible.
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