Beware - A little Heavy

         Wow, This song has been my theme song this year. So many times I have heard it and felt like he was speaking about my life. This last year, heck last 4 years have not been easy to say the least. I got pregnant with Kaleb, was finishing my thesis for Grad school, working two jobs and found out my dad was dying of Cancer, HELLO! Then got pregnant with Ruby, found out my mom had cancer and started a new job. I honestly have NO IDEA how in the heck I have not been completely overwhelmed all the time. I do truly believe that God blessed me with both my babies at perfect timing in my life. 
       However, as I am sitting here wondering how I am going to trudge through this deep, deep valley and  it seems like every time I come over the crest of the hill there is another huge valley in front of me. When will I catch a break?  Even though I am faced with something I don't wish on anyone, I have to believe that there is a reason God lets these things happen. What that is? I have no idea and yes there are times where is very hard not to be angry at God for letting us experience so much pain. When will what we have gone through, are going through or will go through be enough? It is hard enough as it is to not be completely overwhelmed by the pain of the world without having to add personal loss on top of that.
If I don't have faith I have nothing. Even when I am angry, the very core of me believes this.


                                                                    
                                                                                                "Worn"

I’m Tired I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

My prayers are wearing thin
Yeah, I’m worn
Even before the day begins
Yeah, I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn
So, heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn

Though I’m worn
Yeah I’m worn