As we enter my absolute favorite season and the weather starts to change so many feelings come with it! There is something that Fall does to my soul that is so filling, its hard to explain. Fall to me, means family, hunkering down and enjoying those around you. Blankets, pumpkin everything, hearty meals and baked goods. All the things I grew up with. It was also my moms favorite time of year.
The change in seasons always brings up so many feelings of missed family. Loneliness as I still am trying to navigate what life without parents looks like. I often feel very alone like I am doing this life by myself (ourselves with my husband I mean). The redefinition of family has and is interesting. What do my traditions look like? Do I still have them or make my own? Honestly, putting energy into this area is overwhelming. Don't even get me started on Christmas because that just makes me want to cry.
I have my own family now, and we are building what these seasons and holidays look like for us, but to be honest I am a creature of comfort and don't want to do it on my own. I want what I had. I don't even know where to start with creating my own because when I do, it doesn't feel the same and I find myself being disappointed and drained.
Grief is a strange bird. Truly I don't know how to explain it most of the time. How it just knocks you out of thin air. How it presents itself in the weirdest situations and brings up feelings you didn't even know you had.
So for all of you who are experiencing grief during these seasons of change, I am right there with you <3 <3
