I'm in a particularly challenging part of parenting. There are times, ok lets be honest here... most of the time I feel like an utter failure. Like God didn't know what he was doing when he gave me these two wonderful but very challenging children. Maybe I don't have good enough skills to be their mom. I know speaking those thoughts out loud is utter ridiculousness but it still goes through my mind often. This job that completely challenges me on every level and shows me all the things that I am not good at, all the areas that I need to work in, and all the things that I need to do to grow. It makes me feel like I am not doing it right. As a mom of two very lovable, hilariously funny, beautiful, kind, exasperatingly challenging strong willed children I am exhausted all the time. Emotionally and physically spent. Just plain tired. Sometimes its really hard not to look at my friends whose kids can go to a birthday party and hot have an epic meltdown afterwords or do something outsides of the normal routine and not have massive anxiety or get completely overstimulated. I envy that because all of what I just said is our norm.
I know that having strong willed spirited kids is a blessing. I really do, see I am one too so I know the awesome blessings that come with this personality and I see how these traits are going to serve and strengthen them as they get older. But, in the mean time when even leaving the house is a challenge and battle, its hard to look to the flowers that are going to bloom from these seeds that we are planting.
I don't know about you, but I don't often talk much about this because they are often met with such misunderstanding, judgement about our parenting skills and what we are doing wrong and a lack of empathy. I am sure if you have kids in this boat you have probably experienced the same at some point. So, for those of you have have a friend in your life who has children that are strong willed, please extend them lots of grace. Don't be judgemental about lack of parenting or their inability to discipline their kids or that their kids are too sensitive or naughty.
God wired these children this way for a reason and he knew the parents that would be perfect to handle these behaviors (even if we don't trust ourselves in that). What we really need is a community of people that can stroke our hair when we curl up and cry and people to love on us without judgement.
